So I got to thinking the other day (dangerous I know) about my reaction to male attention. About 90% of the male attention that I have gotten over the years has been that of the cat calling, male chauvinist, misoginistic type and yet when it happened something in my mind said;”wow, that guy likes you!” , “you’re attractive to someone!” and similar things. This reaction has made me do some really stupid things.
I remember one such incident (there have been so many but this one sticks in my mind) where I was around 14 and I was shopping with my parents. A man (around 25+) starts following me around the store trying to catch my eye. He does so gives me a smile, I smile back. My heart starts to flutter but I know this is wrong so I move away. He follows me again and approaches me.
“I will buy you that top, I’ll give you money come to my car?”, ” Can I have your number?”
“I will give you money, thats a nice top you have there can you afford it?”
“no thank you”
So I go back to find my mom in the store. Tell her what’s just gone on. “Well ask him on a date!”
I mean apart from the moment of pure WTF has just happened my mother coming out with another dose of WTF.. I didn’t ask him on a date and actually considered phoning the police at this point but of course I never did.
Recently something happened to me which made me consider how I feel about such interactions. I am now a grown professional woman, I have a degree, a PGCE and QTLS status along with other qualifications and talents and yet men seem to think that because I am a woman, regardless of my relationship status, that because they are giving me attention I will lie on my back and think this a compliment. Well I don’t I am very happy and secure in my relationship he is the most loving, kind and beautiful man I have ever met (theres more I could be here for days telling you all the lovely things he is). Yet a man who barely knows me wants me to forget all this and go and be his one night love. I don’t think so deary and actually this made me quite sad because my reaction to it initially was to be flattered by this attention but then I realised what was happening and soon snapped out of it.
I love my boyfriend and will never hurt him or break his heart. He is my everything don’t ask me to because you will not win.