Yesterday I came to the realisation that to be a woman who has opinions and who is assertive is a very dangerous occupation. Especially when most of your bosses are male. Many of them simply don’t realise that they react to me in a way that they wouldn’t do if I were male.
If someone tells me to do something and I don’t see the point in it or I don’t think that it will positively benefit my students then I simply won’t do it and I will explain why. However, this seems to give me unwanted negative attention. I simply cannot express an opinion if I ‘want to get on in the world’. However a man can force their frankly baseless opinion on me and in meant to not only accept it but act it out!
I cannot do it I just can’t bring myself to be compromised for people who I don’t respect. This leaves me open to being scrutinised and disciplined over entirely unrelated things. in order for those men to either get rid of me or to mould me in to the image of what they think I should me. Mainly submissive, subservient and quiet.
I honestly don’t know what to do? I either leave teaching and try something else but probably come up against the same issues. Work within teaching with this knowledge and accept it / try to change myself. Or try to get promoted (not going to happen) so I am a boss/ manager of some sort. I think my options are limited.